One at a Time
Archived under Personal Ramblings .
Assalaamu 'alaikum
Yesterday I met, by the Grace of Allaah, with a revert sister that I had not seen or spoken to for a very long time. The reason is that I personally do not like to overburden people.
When I came onto this path [Islaam], I used to get frustrated with people telling me: "that's haraam.. this is haraam.. blah.. blah". Okay, so they had a duty to tell me, right? But they could [and should have] used, what we call, H-I-K-M-A-H [wisdom]! You don't just go up to a newbie and say: "Oi! You are naked man, go get yourself some clothes" or "SubhaanAllaah... you're prayer won't be excepted in that!" -- and what makes it worse? They never pull you aside to advice you, they always do it infront of people.
SubhaanAllaah! I hate that... by Allaah I hate that.
As for me, when I know of a revert, I advice them S-L-O-W-L-Y and tell them to take it one step at a time. You don't go running up those steps in twos, you take it one at a time -- have you ever seen a baby walk up the stairs? Yes, just like that.
Sis, I know you might be reading this [and I don't wanna see a red nose, alright (you know what I mean)] but what I can say (like I did yesterday) is for you to get to know the right people. Here's my two-pence:
1. Have a clear intention that you want to please your Lord - that you want to get closer to Him, learn more about Him and love Him as He should be loved.
2. Make sincere du'aa to Allaah [no it doesn't have to be in Arabic!] that He keeps the Shaytaan away from you, so that he'll stop hindering you from doing that which your heart is longing for [ie. that mention in (1)].
3. Go for it! Yes, sis.. go for it. Take it a day at a time and keep repeating and checking up on (1) and (2).
Sis, you're in my du'aa.. really you are.
Was-salaamu 'alaikum
~ Umm Junayd
RELATED ENTRY: Where's the Love?
Your Thoughts
wa 'alaikumus-salaam,
We've now got 'supermuslims' don't we? We have those who've read about 10 books and are now able to give fataawa. If the greatest shuyookh of our times knew this trick I'm sure they wouldn't have spend many, many years studying the deen. How ignorant we are!
Yes I was born into a 'Muslim' family, but as we know, there are things that can take us out of the fold of Islaam, which I kinda fell into. SubhaanAllaah.
But walhamdulillaah, I'm back on track. Maybe you want to read this entry if you haven't done so already:
http://ummjunayd.info/archives/are_you_a_muslim.php
Was-salaamu 'alaikum
~ Umm Junayd
Assalaamu Alaikum,
When I embraced Islam my lifestyle changed completely. My immediate circle of friends, although they were Muslim, just started to practice around the same time as my reversion, so I did not really have anyone pushing me or telling me I must do this or I can’t do that. I met some very knowledge and practicing brothers but I kept them at an arms length – However, they were very patient with me and used much wisdom in dealing with me. I slowly started to hang around more with those who I used to keep at an arms length because I saw that with my immediate circle of friends I was not really progressing in terms of my practicing (just doing the bare minimum) and learning of Islam. So my advice to myself first as always is that yes, take it slow, but not so slow that we fall short and not so fast that we over burden ourselves. Progression is the main thing, progressing bit by bit. We all have different capabilities and therefore we know how much we can take and how much we cannot. Also, I think these “Super Muslims” need just as much patience and kind words as new Muslims do, after all, we want good for everyone.
Was-Salaamu Alaikum,
Abu Suhaylah.
Wa 'alaikumus-salaam
Yes Abu Suhaylah, one shouldn't take it so slow that absolutely no
progress is being made.
I'm very much a forbearing person, mashaa`Allaah. I like to think I
have alot of patience [and to teach 5 year olds Islaamic Studies and
Qur`aan, you've got to have alot of patience!], but you know, sometimes you
simply run out of steam and get frustrated with the way some people
act. I am not one to be upfront [well.. rarely], but in some situations
you've got to let some people know that harsh da'wah simply isn't the way
to go.
Was-salaamu 'alaikum
~ Umm Junayd.
Assalam Alaikum,
Wow that entry really hit me hard because I face the same things each and every time I enter the Musjid...if it's not filled of children running all over the place then of sisters who seem very cold to you when entering the Musjid or never come over to welcome you! Subhan'allah. Sadly this has made it very hard for me to actually go back to the Musjid, the same Musjid in which I love very much for the sake of Allah. I really think dear sister, what you have said here is truely VERY important! Each and every sister and brother should take these words in to account and re-check themselves.
Salam,
This is good advice. A lot of Muslims "advise" other Muslims (even 'revert' to 'non-revert') in an embarrassing or harsh way and in front of others. I don't know if it makes them feel good to let someone know they are doing something "wrong." There are always gentler ways of doing things.
Side note: I thought you were born in a Muslim family?