Where's the Love?
Archived under My Writings , Personal Ramblings .
Assalaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.
When you think of a Masjid, you can picture a serene, warm setting where brothers and sisters are (separately) learning together, or performing other acts of 'eebaadah - be it reciting the Qur`aan, going through tafseer or studying aspects of the deen in order to strengthen their eemaan.
When you picture yourself walking into a Masjid that is not your 'local' Masjid, you might want to be spoken to, if you're the shy type or you'd want to be told where you can make wudhoo, if signs are not displayed with directions, correct?
Sometimes, this just is not the case.
Nowadays, it seems that if you walk into a Masjid, you'll find clans and tribes setup in every corner or around every pillar. You'll see groups of the Somalis, the Algerians, the Pakistanis, the Bengalis, the Nigerians... and the list goes on. It's a great thing to have so many different nationalities in the same place of worship, but they are not exactly together are they?
Also, you may walk into a Masjid where the worshippers are unfamiliar to you, you give them salaam and they reply. You then pray two rak'ah and sit-down. Sometimes you'll get funny looks that say, 'What's he/ she doing here?’ Sometimes you'll get stares and when eye-contact is made, a frown advances on the face of the onlooker.
Personally, I like to be accommodating. I'll give salaam to a 'newbie' and ask her a few questions like, what area are you from, have you been here before... etc. If the sister is not dressed appropriately I wouldn't scream her down immediately [read this entry for more] - this will only drive her away. As you know, there are gentle and wise [the key word here] ways to advice someone.
Anyhow, my advise to my brothers and sisters is:
ONE: If a 'newbie' walks into your local Masjid and they look a little nervous or lost, go up to them and give them salaam - it's an act of goodness:
Narrated AbuYusuf Abdullah ibn Salam:Abdullah heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) say: O people! Spread the Salam (greetings), feed (the poor and needy), behave kindly to your blood relations, offer prayer when others are asleep, and (thus) enter Paradise in peace. [Transmitted by Tirmidhi.]
Or, if you are given the salaam first, reply with something better:
"When anyone greets you in a courteous manner, let your greetings be better than his - or at least return the same. Allaah keeps account of everything." [Soorah an-Nisaa (4): 86]
TWO: If you were already sitting with a group of brothers or sisters (separately) studying or the like, invite the 'newbie' to join you.
Allaah (glorified and exalted be He) has supernumerary angels who rove about seeking out gatherings in which Allaah's name is being invoked: they sit with them and fold their wings round each other, filling that which is between them and between the lowest heaven. [Truncated from Hadeeth Qudsi: 14]
THREE: If the 'newbie' doesn't really want to be accommodated for, smile, salaam and carry on doing what you were doing.
FOUR: Most importantly, show a little bit of brotherly love!
I've found that some reverts feel 'left-out' or even scared when they go to their local Masjid because the people there are so cold, insensitive and just out-right arrogant. Inshaa`Allaah we should strive to nurture and care for our revert brothers and sisters 'cos most of us have 'been there' and it's nice to have some kind of support in those baby stages.
May Allaah unite our hearts in righteousness, aameen.
Was-salaamu 'alaikum
~ Umm Junayd.
Your Thoughts
as salaaamu `alaykum Umm Junayd...
This is a lovely post and it really SPOKE to me, you know? Having moved so many times, I've experienced many tough moments and felt like an outsider being scrutinised... I'm going to read this again *S*
Assalaamu 'alaikum my dear sisters!
Yes... it's something that I've been witnessing for a very long time in my own community and also in others. Yes, it's sad and there needs to be a change. I just hope my message isn't falling on deaf ears!
Take care - was-salaamu 'alaikum
~ Umm Junayd.
Its unfortunate how people think no different of a Masjid from other places in thier lives. Rather sad, considering the role it's meant to play in the lives of the Faithful. Ironic too, that they claim to be muslims, yet make no effort at trying to breach that gap between strangers.
I'm glad to see you making an effort to change that. I hope your words hit home :-)